It isn't an ejection seat; it's a hot seat, where coaches simmer

Ask any coach who has ever been forced into resignation -- Mike Davis, Ricardo Patton, anybody -- and they'll tell you the same thing, that the day they lost their jobs they felt relieved and just better in general.

Tubby Smith's Wildcats haven't gone to a Final Four since 1998, but his job isn't in jeopardy. (Getty Images)

The real torture, they'll insist, was working with stress week after week, hopelessly trying to win the trust of their players, administration and fans. Out from underneath that, their quality of life improved.

What's the point, you ask?

The point is that my definition of "hot seat" -- for this column, at least -- is something different. Most people think of the hot seat as a place for coaches who will be forced out if they don't perform, kind of like what happened to Michigan State's John L. Smith. But if you didn't hear, Smith now gets to walk away, leave the stress (and a bad football team) behind and, presumably, stop slapping himself at news conferences. And, oh yeah, he receives $1.5 million upon exit.

That's not the hot seat, people.

That's the best seat in the house.

(Honestly, is there a better thing to be in America than a high-major or professional fired coach? You spend years essentially screwing something up, then get paid millions of dollars to just leave and do nothing. For children, this is the equivalent of destroying your room, then having somebody else clean it while you're on a shopping spree at Toys 'R' Us. That's why I'll never understand those who want to be the next Gregg Popovich. I'd much rather be the next Mike Montgomery. Anyway, back to the column.)

So when I use the phrase "hot seat" here, I'm not referencing that hot seat, the same hot seat Dan Monson is on at Minnesota or Stan Heath is on at Arkansas. If those guys have bad years, they'll be gone 48 hours after their final game, if not sooner. That's not my hot seat. No, my hot seat is a place reserved for coaches under tremendous scrutiny, but who are so good at what they do that they're simply unfireable. In other words, nobody would be crazy enough to pay them to walk away, because if you've got to have a coach, you want these guys.

Still, they don't seem above criticism from their own fan bases, and the pressure, for various reasons, has mounted to a level where if they don't meet expectations this season they're likely to end up on national television, John L. Smithing themselves in the faces.

But, again, they'd still never be asked to go away.

Not yet.

Because they're good coaches.

So they'd just end up back in this same scenario next season, dealing with all the same pressures due to the fact that they're too accomplished and/or filled with too much promise to be pushed out. And that, my friends, is the real hot seat, the hot seat that can get seriously hot with no obvious chance for relief, even if things don't go as planned.

Here are four guys who fit the criteria, guys who are too good to let go, yet under great scrutiny heading into this season.

Tubby Smith

Is there a better example for this list than Smith? He's the coach at Kentucky, and a damn fine coach indeed. But Smith hasn't led his team to the Final Four since 1998, and that's a long drought in Wildcat years.

Making things worse, recruiting has been underwhelming, and while the roster is still talented enough to win games, it's no longer a Final Four-caliber roster, not even close. Consequently, much of the fan base has grown cranky.

But -- as I stated in the criteria for anybody on this list -- Smith is simply too good to fire. And the flipside is that no man in his right mind -- except Dave Chappelle, perhaps, and we could argue whether he was in his right mind -- would walk away from a job paying nearly $3 million per year. So barring a move to the NBA, Smith is probably stuck at UK, and if he doesn't start recruiting like any coach at Kentucky should, then his job will become extremely uncomfortable. And Ashley Judd just might stop coming to games.

Gary Williams

When you take over your alma mater during a time of disarray and build it into a power that wins a national title, you deserve a statue and all the money boosters can muster. In other words, Williams has a lifetime pass at Maryland, or least he should.

But there were grumblings among some fans when the Terrapins appeared in four Sweet 16s in a five-year stretch capped by that 2002 NCAA Tournament championship, and so now that Williams is coming off two NIT appearances the naysayers are, well, naysaying. Make that three straight NITs, and people will start getting fidgety. So D.J. Strawberry had better be good this season, like his dad, circa 1987.

Bill Self

If a new program was started tomorrow and a coach for that program had to be hired, Self would be on the short list of desirable candidates. He's successful; see those three different Elite Eights at three different schools the past seven years as proof. But more than that, Self is approachable and good in public, meaning he's a wonderful salesman for whatever it is he's selling, evidence being his recruiting triumphs that have Kansas' roster impressive and loaded.

Still, the past two seasons have ended badly. First, Kansas lost in the first round of the NCAA Tournament to Bucknell. Then, Kansas lost in the first round of the NCAA Tournament to Bradley. And in case you didn't know, Kansas fans don't like it when Kansas loses in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. To anybody.

So while Self is too good to be let go, if the Jayhawks somehow flameout in March again -- and, by the way, I wouldn't count on it; there's a better chance of Kansas winning the final game of the season than again losing its first game in the NCAA Tournament -- there will be an uproar among the fan base and patience will become very thin.

Bruce Weber

If Weber's Illinois obituary is ever written, it'll include the names of Shaun Livingston, Julian Wright, Sherron Collins and Jon Scheyer. Those are but four of the in-state stars Weber has watched sign with out-of-state schools the past three years, and it's set to get worse Saturday unless Chicago point guard Derrick Rose shocks the recruiting world and announces a commitment to Illinois over Memphis and Indiana. Assuming that doesn't happen, add Rose's name to the list.

And while Weber seemed capable of overcoming his in-state misses when he gained an out-of-state commitment from future McDonald's All-American Eric Gordon, that turned badly last month when Gordon de-committed, instead promising to sign with Indiana.

In a word, ouch.

In most cases, when a coach misses this often this badly, he's simply shown the door and replaced by someone who will create so much excitement he'll corral a top 10 class immediately. But Weber is less than two years removed from an appearance in the national title game, and he took the Illini to the second round of the NCAA Tournament last season, meaning he's a great coach, and it's nonsensical to fire great coaches if they're winning with the talent they have, even if it's not the talent everybody wants them to have.

That said, hard-core fans, for whatever reason, seem to get more excited about recruiting wins than conference victories while forever worrying about the future instead of enjoying the present. It's human nature, I guess. But if Weber's on-the-court success dips even a little, people will start pointing at all the guys who got away, and this job will become more and more uncomfortable as that national title game appearance moves further and further away.