With Manny being horse's fanny, let's end his singular double-standard

CBSSports.com has learned exclusively the five things the traveling secretary for the Boston Red Sox, Jack McCormick, said to Manny Ramirez that led to Ramirez allegedly shoving McCormick to the ground.

1. "Manny, Lenny Kravitz called. He wants his hair back."

2. "How many times do I have to tell you the store is out of Manny bobblehead dolls?"

While Boston slobbers over this guy, the rest of the country rolls their eyes. (US Presswire)

3. "Hey Manny, your mamma's so old she has an 8-track iPod. Just kidding dude. Wait, don't hit me ...!"

4. "I just don't think it's a good idea for me to book a trip to Vegas for you and Amy Winehouse. Have you seen her lately?"

5. "I called John McCain per your instructions. He says he's already picked a running mate."

Oh, I know, it's just Manny being Manny.

Not even sure what that means any more.

Ramirez asked McCormick for 16 tickets to a Red-Sox Houston Astros game. This works out to one ticket for each Ramirez personality.

Manny, Manny, Manny ... going bonkers on a 60-year-old traveling secretary? Decided to downgrade your sparring partner after Kevin Youkilis, huh?

Next week Manny's going to pick a fight with the traveling orthopedist.

All the hypocritical Red Sox fans (who complain about other jerkface athletes while backing their own jerks) and Manny slurpers (who see no Manny evil) are busy typing frantically on their computers their love of all things Manny in response to what I'm writing.

Go right ahead. Meanwhile I'll continue to be amazed by what behavior sets off some sports fans, what they choose to excuse and what they decide to ignore.