Happy Valentines Day to all CBS Sportsline members!
Now I know most of you regulars are some pretty sad sick people. You are out of shape, pasty and white internet geeks who are afraid of girls. Valentines Day is normally a sad time for you, but not this year! Today is different! This Valentines Day you will be inspired to actually talk to a female, and if she doesn't pepper spray you or taze you...YOU will ask her for a date. How? By using my guidelines below!
1. Women really do exist. However, you will have to be bold and leave the house so dress accordingly.
2. Aim low. Before approaching a woman, ask yourself..."Is there the slightest chance I wont get slapped?" Be honest! Safety first and You have to crawl before you learn to walk.
3. Be adventerous. Explore the whole mall. Theres a reason chicks don't hang out at Radio Shack.
4. The women you see will not look like the online kind you're used to. Don't be afraid. Keep telling yourself its just extreme virtual reality.
5. Its important to remember real world women have their clothes on and its not going to be easy for you to change that. It may help you to consider this Level 1. You have a long way to go before you "save the princess."