This should keep you busy for a bit and I hope get a laugh.
*Notable Quotations on France*
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks
it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
--Mark Twain
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one
behind me." --General George S. Patton
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
--Marge Simpson
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." --Jacques Chirac,
President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." --Rush Limbaugh
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --Regis Philbin
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it." --John McCain, U.S. Senator (AZ)
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam
out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France
either." --Jay Leno
"The last time the French asked for "more proof'' it came marching into
Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman
"War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II."
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its
national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
--Dennis Miller
"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when
they needed us." --Alan Kent
"They've taken their own precautions against al-Quaida. To prepare for an
attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a
three-day supply of mistresses in the house." --Argus Hamilton
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
advertised on eBay the other day--the description 'Never shot. Dropped
once.'" --Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)
"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found
truffles in Iraq." --Dennis Miller
"Raise your right hand if you like the French. Raise both hands if you are
French."
"Question: Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?
Answer: It's not known, it's never been tried." --Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And
that's because it was raining." --John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.
"The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the
London bombings that it has raised its terror alert from 'Run' to 'Hide.'
The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate.' The
rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed
France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military."
"French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney. ... The French government announced
today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at EuroDisney. The
decision comes that day after a nightly fireworks display at the park,
located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby
French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists." --AP Paris
