How to Handle a Violent Woman

Throw a pair of new shoes to the side and run like HELL!

I like to use a phonebook whenever possible when I beat a woman, as this often keeps her from bruising and makes her look like a liar when she tells her family and friends that I beat her. Then, after a good beating, I like to pour whiskey all over her so that if the cops come they will just think she's a drunken idiot.  Sometimes I'll even let her sleep in the bed and then slide an apple or orange into a long sock and beat her about the head and shoulders with it.  Once she even made me go into her work and beat a b!tch when she didn't fill the ice trays.  Finally after a good beating I'll usually throw her belongings about the house and force her to sleep in the bathtub.  The gentle sobbing from the bathroom tends to help put me to sleep.

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