I'm a diehard Red Sox fan, have been all of my life. I used to hate the Yankees and all that they stood for, but not so much any longer. I'm not sure why the rivalry doesn't feel the same, but here are some possible ideas:
1. Player movement between teams/changed perception of players:
At first, I was really angry when Johnny Damon signed with the Yankees, but that faded after his first year in NY. It's clear he's nowhere close to the same player he used to be, and now I've become pretty pleased that the Sox didn't resign him. Also, players like Ramiro Mendoza and Mike Stanton have switched teams in the past, and it sort of makes it hard to develop a hatred for another team's players. Media coverage of the various players has changed, too. Part of what makes me angry about some players is how overrated they are in various ways, but most everyone who pays attention to baseball has gotten off the Derek Jeter gold glove bandwagon. Jason Giambi is now too ridiculous to hate (the pornstache and the thong? Please). A-Rod hasn't made any extremely arrogant statements lately, either.
2. Too many games:
I really believe the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true in this case. Yankees-Sox used to be something special, a treat you only get a few times each year. Now it's boring because they play each other as many as 25 times a year (including playoffs).
3. No (real) Steinbrenner:
A significant portion of the hatred of the Yankees, at least for younger fans like myself (I'm 23), was tied up in hatred for George Steinbrenner. Now that he's senile (or more senile), the Yankees don't really have that figurehead to hate. Hank Steinbrenner has tried to replace his dad, but everyone knows that Hank Steinbrenner is a fat, ignorant moron, and a complete joke. George Steinbrenner was arrogant and had unbelievable/completely out of place standards for his players and management, but at least they came from a semi-rational thought process.
4. The Yankees just aren't that good anymore:
The 2001 and 2003 World Series, and the 2004 ALCS have essentially broken the 1990's Yankee mystique. Mussina is back to pitching well this year, but he's not really intimidating. Jeter and Posada are still on the team, but they're also old and not really the same players as they were eight years ago. Joba Chamberlain has to continue to be this dominant, and Philip Hughes has to develop into a frontline starter, in order for the Yankees to become anywhere close to as imposing as they were in the late 90's and early 2000's. Please don't read this to mean that I think the Yankees are a bad team -- they're clearly a very good baseball team. I just mean to say that 7-8 years ago, teams were afraid to face the Yankees. Now they're just another very good baseball team, and it's not such a big deal anymore.
Obviously I come at this from the perspective of a Red Sox fan, but I'm not trying to rip the Yankees with any of these observations. Just trying to sort out why the rivalry isn't, to me, quite as gripping as it used to be.
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