Sunday 7: Beep! Beep! Watch out, New Orleans, Ohio State is coming

The sound of Ohio State backing into New Orleans: It approximates that annoying "beep, beep, beep" of the thrash truck in reverse outside your house at 6 a.m.

Jim Tressel's Buckeyes will be pure spectators this weekend -- again. (Getty Images)

It actually goes something like this: Arizona 34, Oregon 24; Arkansas 50, LSU 48; Missouri 36, Kansas 28.

The Luckeyes were recently seen with the gag reflex on Nov. 10 in an embarrassing loss to Illinois. Their reward, after then beating mediocre Michigan? The Rose Bowl, just because the Big Ten contract says so.

Their ultimate reward? After all the right dominoes fell (see above), they're playing for the national championship if West Virginia and/or Missouri lose on Saturday. Left for dead after Illinois, the Bucks leaped from No. 7 to No. 3 in the BCS in two weeks.

In a rebuilding year, with a defense that still hasn't figured out how to defend the spread, the Bucks are a heartbeat away from backing into a championship berth -- 15 days after last snapping a football.

Beep, beep, beep ...

Some clarity: There are seven teams still in the running for the BCS title game.

Missouri, West Virginia and Ohio State are obvious. But two-loss teams Georgia, Virginia Tech, Oklahoma, LSU and USC aren't out of it.

"Just about anybody who's playing next week has a chance," said Jerry Palm of collegebcs.com. "And Ohio State, which is not playing, has a chance."

The BCS never has had a two-loss team play for the national championship, but it could happen if Missouri and West Virginia both lose.

The only sure things are West Virginia and Ohio State, which have clinched BCS bowls. Either Boston College or Virginia Tech will nab the ACC's automatic berth. The Pac-10 is a mess with up-and-down UCLA, at 6-5, still with a Rose Bowl shot if it beats USC and Arizona beats Arizona State. The Big 12 is between Missouri and Oklahoma. Missouri could still get an at-large bid if it loses. Oklahoma's only BCS chance is to win the conference. In the SEC, either LSU or Tennessee will get the automatic berth. The loser is out. Georgia, 10-2, is in good shape for an at-large berth.

Hawaii looks like it's going to clinch an automatic berth if it beats Washington this week. The pollsters and computers were impressed with the Warriors' win over Boise State. Hawaii got a huge lift in the computers (from 22nd to 14th) and benefited from Oregon and Texas losses to move up three spots to No. 12.

Black Friday was a walk in the outlet mall compared to Black Saturday: Nebraska's Bill Callahan and Mississippi's Ed Orgeron were asked to vacate the premises within hours of each other Saturday morning. Both were fired less than a day after their last game.

The ADs aren't messing around this time, folks. What promises to be the most active job-search season in years actually kicked off in earnest Friday when Dennis Franchione resigned at/walked out on Texas A&M.

Fran's chilly departure from the room while AD Bill Byrne read his postgame statement was great theater. Let's see: Coach embarrasses school with secret newsletter. Coach underachieves big time while taking $2 million per season for four years. Then the coach is mad that he was let go, er, resigned? I'm missing something.

Expect both A&M and Nebraska to move quickly with recruiting at stake. The regular season isn't over yet and already there are six openings (SMU, Michigan, Nebraska, Ole Miss, Texas A&M and Baylor).

Meanwhile, we're waiting on coaches like Tommy Tuberville, Bo Pelini and Les Miles to make a decision one way or another fairly soon.

Those who have turned in their Heisman ballots are fools: This could be the closest vote in years.

On Friday, Darren McFadden shocked the world and LSU with 206 shoulder-lowering yards. Colt Brennan set the NCAA career record for touchdown passes Friday night against Boise State. Tim Tebow broke his right (non-throwing) hand against Florida State and still added five more touchdowns to his combined total. Missouri's Chase Daniel made his case Saturday night with three touchdown passes against Kansas.

McFadden and Tebow are done. Daniel and Brennan have a final shot this week. Tebow, Daniel, McFadden and Brennan should get invited to New York. The envelope please?

The bug has infected Division II: If you don't believe defenses are under constant attack, you weren't in Chadron, Neb., on Saturday. Chadron State beat Abilene (Texas) Christian 76-73 in a Division II playoff game. The teams combined for the most points ever scored in an NCAA game (149). That's the third time in five weeks the record has been set.

Chadron trailed by 29 points in the fourth quarter, rallied to tie and won in the third overtime. NCAA all-time leading rusher Danny Woodhead scored four times.

"It's the greatest game I've ever seen and played in," Woodhead told reporters.

Maybe, but did Woodhead watch any SEC games this weekend?

The Place Where Football Was Invented is out of the race: The average SEC team on Saturday scored 31 points. Half the league scored at least that many points. LSU scored 48 and Kentucky scored 50 in losses.

It seemed Tigers were sprawled on the turf after every other play against Arkansas. They were winded. They were injured. Mostly, they were run over. There's no question the LSU defense has gotten worse in recent weeks. It cost them with the crushing loss to the Hogs. Unless a miracle happens, the nation's third-highest scoring league (30.7 points per team) is out of the national championship race -- perhaps because it can't play enough defense?

Do not be scared, children, of the man in the bright orange coat: That was not a pumpkin at frigid Commonwealth Stadium, it was Tennessee's Phil Fulmer, who is probably still dancing around like a Michelin Man in a headset.

His Vols clinched a spot in the SEC title game with a 52-50 overtime win at Kentucky. Some people just live right, and some people are Phil Fulmer. Sitting squarely on the hot seat after a 24-point loss to Alabama on Oct. 20, The Fightin' Fulmers won their last five in a row to win the SEC East. Three of those wins came by three, one and two points.

Good on ya, Phil, but, please, ditch the technicolor dreamcoat.