ClayNation: Vick story a new level of going to the dogs

According to recent reports, a warrant was issued for 15 acres of land Michael Vick owns where -- upon execution of the warrant -- dogs and dogfighting paraphernalia were found. There were early reports that cockfighting also took place on the same land, but those appear unfounded.

Yep, it has officially reached the point where nothing good can happen to your favorite athletes during the offseason.

Did illegal dogfighting and cockfighting occur here? (AP)

Worse, some of the bad things that happen now are completely unpredictable. Dogfighting and cockfighting allegations? Are you serious? What odds could you have gotten on some offshore betting agency that this would be the next crisis Michael Vick would find himself embroiled in? How could anyone have foreseen this possibility?

Well, I'll tell you how -- by being a member of the Humane Society. Amazingly, they had been receiving complaints about Michael Vick engaging in dogfighting.

"The Humane Society of the United States has heard troubling reports for some time that Michael Vick has been involved in organized dogfighting, and we fear that this investigation may validate that very disturbing allegation," said Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of the Humane Society of the United States.

This is just such an insane story to me. How would you react if one of your buddies was involved in a dogfighting ring? Somehow this allegation is so ridiculous that it makes Marcus Vick pulling a gun on random kids in a McDonald's parking lot seem mundane. In fact, if you told me that one of my friends was going to pull a gun on high school kids at a McDonald's or be involved in a dogfighting ring, I think I'd go with pulling a gun on high school kids at a McDonald's.

Aerial photos of fenced in dogs at Michael Vick's property in Virginia. (AP)

Remember when everyone said that Marcus Vick needed to spend more time with his brother so he could learn right from wrong? What if Marcus Vick was actually the well-behaved brother all along?

That just blew your mind, didn't it?

Worse for Michael Vick, the items seized in the raid make this dogfighting business seem like quite the profitable enterprise. This wasn't some car-headlight-illuminated dogfighting pit in a Mexican desert; this was a legitimately illegal enterprise filled with investments designed to make the dogfights more efficient and effective.

Here's a partial list of the seized materials taken on the raid: Four treadmills so the dogs will have better endurance (treadmills!), performance-enhancing pharmaceuticals (in a surprise move, baseball commissioner Bud Selig issued a statement denying such materials existed or that he had been aware of them), a "rape stand" (evidently this is utilized for breeding when female dogs become too aggressive to otherwise allow breeding to occur), dog-weigh scales to keep the dogfights humane and fair, and, refreshingly, antibiotics so injured dogs can get back into dogfighting shape faster.

All of these products are so diabolical it left me wondering whether there is some craggy old dogfighting trainer who knows all the tricks of the trade. Also, is there anyone you'd less rather get into a fight with than a dogfighting expert (Ed Hochuli excluded)? These dogfighting trainers just seem like they'd be insane. But somehow less scary than angered animal lovers.

More aerial photos of Michael Vick's property in Virginia. (AP)

That's because as foes go, animal lovers are some of the worst people on earth to offend. They will never forgive you and will make your life miserable. People tend to forgive other people's mistakes. But animal lovers never forgive anyone being mean to animals.

Put it this way, if you had to choose between being a seeing-eye dog that gets hit by a car or a blind person who gets hit because the seeing-eye dog leads you astray, in terms of hospital bills and charity funds raised on your behalf, you'd want to be the dog. That's why the Humane Society is already calling for the Atlanta Falcons to suspend Vick.