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Stella and Eric Kay are picking bowls, picking on two-timing coaches and debating the merits between two of the greatest movie franchises.
| ERIC KAY | PETE STELLA |
| BOURBON QUESTION: Help all our friends out there who like to place a friendly wager once in a while. What's your sure-fire bowl season lock? | |
| This is just going to chap my vertically superior colleague over there but it's the title game. (Can this even be a jinx considering our readership size?) This has all the makings of a Buckeyes win. I've had the pleasure of watching this wonderful, wonderful team all season and the Bucks have the talent on both sides to compete with any program. But here's the kicker. This scenario is a blend of both the 2002 and 2006 title games. In 2002, the Hurricanes were the more athletic, stronger, faster, everything team. Just as LSU is rated today. But also, LSU is like last year's Buckeyes. Full of distractions (Miles, Pellini) just like the Buckeyes were (Troy Smith's Heisman) last season. Ohio State rarely gets to play the underdog, but when they get to fly under the radar, relatively speaking, they thrive. Enjoy watching your team win, in person, bubb. | As Mr. Kay's vertically superior colleague, I appreciate the love that he's showing the mighty Buckeyes. And I do think that Ohio State will win the national championship, but I'm going a different route. I feel that the dreamy Fighting Tebows will annihilate the lame, drooling Wolverines in the Capital One Bowl. I mean, come on, what else can possibly go wrong for Michigan? Sure, it hired Rich Rodriguez and I am certain he will help turn the program around. But that's next season. Against the Gators in Orlando (which lies in the state of Florida for those of you that aren't smarter than a fifth grader), the Wolverines don't stand a chance. Tebow is way too good and the Gators are way too talented -- and fast -- so I am predicting at least a three-touchdown win. And then the final chapter of one of Michigan's most disappointing seasons ever will be complete. |
| SCOTCH QUESTION: Who's word means the least to you: Rich Rodriguez, Bobby Petrino, Nick Saban or Bill Parcells? | |
| We're talking Tuna. College coaches are all wide-eyed school girls looking to upgrade to the hunk. You can trust them as much as you can trust the six-fingered man. But the Tuna's been lord of the keep, said he likes the role and then bails for the next fixer-upper castle. The man either loves climbing mountains or really hates spending time with his wife. Either way, when he whispers sweet nothings into an owner's ear about playoffs, defense, championships and Pepper Johnson, it's best to realize you're hearing the words coming out of Parcells' mouth, but you better be listening to them as well. Same with Jimi Hendrix. | Bobby Petrino, what a jerk. And I thought I had attention deficit disorder. Granted, Petrino had a rough season -- with all that Michael Vick junk and all and a really crappy team -- but bailing on a team like that and phoning in your resignation, wow. If you look up 'tool' in the dictionary, you may find a Petrino sneering picture. And who's to say he will win at Arkansas? Most of the Razorbacks' talented players will, dare I say, graduate, go to the NFL Draft or transfer, so good ol' Bobby will be looking at a major rebuilding era. Don't be surprised if he jumps to, let's say, the Florida State job after spring football. |
| BEER QUESTION: With, uh, Oscar buzz surrounding its release, AVP-R comes out Christmas Day. It begs the question: Which franchise are you a bigger fan of, the Aliens or the Predators? | |
| "Do it! Do it now!" Those five words uttered by Dutch easily fall in my Top 10 movie lines of all time. I was a film studies minor in college (yes, that would get a Droz, "no, seriously?" response at The Pit), and we actually studied the two Alien movies at one point. They're legit horror, last-female standing flicks. They have depth, reflect society to a point and offer some of the era's best scares. But a predator is a PREDATOR. And that SOB took down Bill Duke, Jesse Ventura, the Indian guy, Carl Weathers AND Gary Busey. That lineup trumps Ian Holm, John Hurt, Tom Skerritt, Michael Biehn, Bill Paxton, Paul Reiser (ROFL) and the big guy from The Deer Hunter any day. But really, what it comes down to is this. I never saw any aliens on display at Sharper Image, have you, Stella? | "There's something out there, and it ain't no man." This is one of my favorite lines from Predator and no, it's not describing Mr. Kay. As someone who had the pleasure of seeing AVP-R on Christmas Day, I consider myself to be a super nerd when it comes to these two fine franchises. As much as I enjoy watching slimy phallic symbols walking around and busting out of people's chests in the middle of bagels and juice, the Predator franchise is more my style. How cool would it be to be invisible with a laser cannon mounted on your shoulder? I can think of a few people I would like to whack. Predator is by far Arnold's best movie -- I have never wanted to get to a chopper so bad in my life -- and Predator 2 ain't too bad, either. Aliens screwed itself when it brought back Ripley for the 50th time. Bad call, Eric. |
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