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Sid is back from overseas, and good news, he can eat solid food again. So, while he uses Immodium AD as a chaser, a disgusted Pete has three topics to discuss. Let's see if they can come to a détente.
| PETE STELLA | SID SARAF |
| BOURBON QUESTION: So, the Rockets had the 21-game winning streak end vs. the Celtics. While most people are impressed, the streak does beg the question: Were the Rockets cheating? | |
| Oh crap, the NBA season is going on? Why didn't anyone tell me? Haha, just kidding folks. I will say that for a team to go on a winning streak like the Rockets did and to do so without All-Star center Yao Ming is impressive. Were they cheating? Nah, I don't think anything funky is going on in Houston. For once, it's nice to turn the cheat goggles off and just admit that a team has something special going based solely on talent and teamwork. Sometimes, teams just get in a roll, and once they have the momentum of a large winning streak putting an extra pop in their steps, it's hard to slow that train down. The West is loaded, with the Rockets, Lakers, Spurs, Mavericks, Hornets, Nuggets and Suns all posed for a long playoff run. So this winning streak can do nothing but benefit Houston down the road. | Uh, yeah. Is this even an argument? Let me explain something about Houston. It's a town of cheats and people with questionable morals. I mean, just listen to the name. Houston. Eww, just sounds shady. Listen, there's no way a team can win 22 games in today's NBA without illegal assistance. And in the Rockets' case, losing Yao Ming was the sign they needed to use shady means, or risk missing the playoffs. That's when every single bounce went their way, every 3-pointer miraculously went in and Rafer Alston went from a whiny nuisance to a legitimate player. Who would have thought? So, how did they cheat? I don't care. I have no evidence. They just must have cheated. After all, who did their streak end against? That's right. The Celtics. From Boston. Home of the Patriots and Bill Belichick. Houston had no shot against the O.G. cheaters, isn't that right, Stephen Sears? |
| SCOTCH QUESTION: Well, well, well. Urban Meyer has done it again. Now, he's starting a pseudo-reality show at Florida, with the winner earning a scholarship. Even though there's no proof that Urban has ever broken rules ... seriously, he's cheating, right? | |
| In my last semester at Bowling Green, Urban Meyer took over the football team and eventually transformed the Falcons into winners. Despite the fact his Gators kicked the poop out of the Buckeyes two years ago, I will always have respect and a bit of a soft spot in my heart for the guy who helped lift Bowling Green out of the Mid-American Conference cellar. So on that note, no, I don't think Meyer is cheating. Meyer is a man of the people and, in this case, a man of the students. Student involvement with the football team is very important to him so I look at this stunt as a way to get people talking -- and get them excited about the upcoming season. Will Meyer find a kid who can beat his track team wearing football pads in the 40-yard dash? Not a chance in heck, but it sure is an interesting proposition. | You're damn right, he is. Listen to Pete, waxing moronic about his boyfriend Urban and Bowling Green. Let me tell you something about Bowling Green: It's another haven for sluts and communists. I'll have no part of anyone from that school. As far as Urban is concerned, this is the last straw. Letting common students run sprints against his players? I know where he's going with this. He's going to start a whole Deer Hunter type underworld in Gainesville. After every practice, these shady races will be run, while Urban's evil minions take bets. Of course the Meyer family will get their cut. How disgusting. Somebody call the NCAA, post haste! What's that, Pete? Yeah, I am a Trojans fan. And no, I'm not hoping to use this Florida thing as a way to distract from the Reggie Bush case. We all know Mr. Carroll had no idea what was happening there (cough, cough) ... everyone at USC drives a pimped out Impala. |
| BEER QUESTION: So Terrelle Pryor is going to Ohio State, how does his decision affect the great OSU-Michigan rivalry? | |
| It's a great day to be a Buckeye fan -- Terrelle Pryor is bringing his 6-foot-5 frame and oodles of talent to Columbus. What this means for 2008 is Ohio State just got that much better. With all the talent the Buckeyes have returning, Pryor just became the pickle of this already loaded sub sandwich. Sorry Michigan, you can't beat Ohio State on the football field, and now, you lose out in the most important recruiting battle in recent history. This translates into at least three-four more wins in a row for Jim Tressel and Ohio State. It's funny to me that on paper, Michigan was the best fit with Rich Rodriguez and his sexy offense. But Pryor still picked Ohio State, which should tell all you smelly Wolverines fans something. Pryor wants to be part of a winning program and one that contend for a national title right away. | Yawn, sorry. I just got so sleepy. Let me tell you something about the Ohio State-Michigan rivalry: It's just a yearly gathering of every prostitute and crooked cop in the Midwest. I'd never be caught dead at the Horseshoe or the Big House. So, Terrelle Pryor has finally decided to sign. I know Pete and former banterer Johnny Rosenstein are doing the dance of joy, but I'm not about to wet myself. Not because a teenager decided what college he's attending. And, since this is Pete's question, let's look for the underlying meaning. He has no interest in talking about Buckeyes vs. Wolverines. He knows that's not a rivalry anymore. After all, Michigan lost to Appalachian State -- it's going to be at least 10 years before the Wolverines can be taken seriously. No, Pete thinks that with Ohio State's new toy, it will actually stand a chance against USC this fall. Let me burst his bubble. The Buckeyes will come to the Coliseum and be stomped silly. Conquest will play loud and Pete Carroll will flash his golden smile as the Trojans jaunt to a 49-18 win. After the game, Terrelle Pryor will transfer to Oregon shouting, "My God, the Big Ten sucks!" End of story. |
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