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Deciding whether or not to go topless is a tough call. For instance lots of B-movie starlets have held out from going topless hoping against hope that one day they'll make the A-list and win an Oscar. They don't want The Bikini Carwash Company on the resume. (Note: This analogy is in no way meant to disparage the artistic brilliance of this film. Or its heartrending sequel Bikini Carwash Company II. Both movies helped get me through the 8th grade.) Plus they don't want people like me going to Google image search to see what they look like topless. Others such as Jessica Alba make strategic decisions that showing everything but their nipples increases their box office appeal to such a degree that whenever they go nude they'll get paid a ton of money for the rights. I guess what I'm saying is I'm giving up on my dream of an Oscar -- or a Pulitzer.
A few weeks ago y'all might remember that I went to the NFL Combine. Eventually all the players stopped coming in for interviews so I went for a walk at the convention center. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but the Bod Pod. Now many of you are probably thinking to yourself; what's the Bod Pod? If so, you undoubtedly didn't watch the NFL Network's coverage of the NFL Draft. Because the Bod Pod is the white space capsule-esque device that players sit down in and have their body fat percentages analyzed.
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| Clay Travis in a Bod Pod. (Provided to CBSSports.com) |
But it's still surprising that they were using calipers at the NFL Combine up until three years ago. This is the technological equivalent of taking down 40 times with sundials. So the bodpod is like the Stealth Bomber of fat body analysis. Especially because calipers have an eight percent margin for error and the Bod Pod has only a one percent margin of error when it comes to body fat percentages. (Raise your hand if you clicked on the column expecting to hear so much about calipers. Or naked boys swimming in Michigan gym class.)
Anyway, I decided to do some reporting on the Bod Pod. By reporting, I mean I took off my shirt and asked to be photographed inside the machine. These machines cost $42,000 a year and at least 13 NFL teams utilize them at their training facilities because it better enables them to track how the body types of their players are evolving. I stood in line behind someone who was talking to a salesperson about buying one for what seemed like a half hour. Then the president and COO of the company, Alex Urlando, arrived and asked if he could help me.
I told him I wanted a topless photograph inside his machine. And he didn't even blink. It was like he was expecting me to tell him that I wanted him to photograph me topless. Which, to be honest, was a little intimidating. So I decided to interview him before I went topless. After all, I'm not easy.
Turns out the Bod Pod was a bit controversial because the NFL Network's Thursday broadcasts featured too many players shirtless as they were being tested. So the NFL complained and after that the players were required to wear a shirt while footage was being taken. Typically the tests are run with individuals wearing only compression shorts and a swim cap. Urlando explained that in 2007 they tested every player at the NFL Combine and found that 20 of the 24 members of the NFL All-Rookie Team were at or below 2007 NFL Combine body fat percentages for their positions. And that those remaining four players were within one percent of the body fat percentages of their average positions. For instance, in 2007 wide receivers at the NFL Combine had the lowest average body fat percentages at 8.9 percent.
But the range for players was from 4-16.1 percent. Defensive backs were the next lowest percentage followed by running backs, linebackers, and quarterbacks. No real surprises there. Offensive and defensive linemen were the fattest. But here's the deal, the range on these players body fat percentages were huge. The fittest offensive lineman at the 2007 NFL combine was 18.6 percent body fat and the fattest was 36.6 percent. The average was 24.7. Defensive linemen ranged from 10.9 to 31.5 with an average of 20.4 percent body fat. The Bod Pod allows teams to assess the make-up of potential draftees' bodies in a way that they have heretofore not been able to. Ergo two linemen who each weigh 325 pounds can have nothing in common when it comes to their body structure or relative health.
What this all means to Urlando is that players who are in better condition are more likely to be capable of withstanding the rigors of an NFL season. Given how fine the line is in the NFL between success and failure, injury and health, anything that can give one team a competitive advantage over another is going to be embraced. Which makes perfect sense. But without a reliable method of body composition analysis, comparing body composition could be difficult (witness the eight percent error rate for calipers). The Bod Pod changes that.
Plus it only takes five minutes to complete the test and requires only three hours training to get someone comfortable using the machine. Meaning that in future NFL Draft analysis it's likely you're going to start hearing these body fat percentages bandied around like you hear bench press and 40 times discussed now. Meaning all of you currently reading this column are on the cutting edge of NFL Draft knowledge. All thanks to me deciding to go topless. Enjoy the topless photo. Consider this a late Easter present. And no matter what, I hope we can still be friends afterwards.
