 |
 |
 |
|
Is this the most exciting NBA postseason in recent memory?
Whether your answer is "yes," "no" or "maybe so," it's time to find out how closely you've been paying attention.
Yes, it's another round of Trivia Night at the Hardy Vision sports bar.
You've been to enough bar trivia nights to know the format -- a question flashes across a TV screen. Multiple choice answers will follow. And if you don't know the right answer right away, some clues will zip across the screen until the timer hits zero.
So riddle me this, hoops fans:
|
|
| Two of the best to ever lace up, Bill Russell has a talk with Kevin Garnett. (Getty Images) |
A. Bill Belichick's secret video tapes of opposing team's cheerleaders.
B. His Criterion Collection edition DVD of the Dan Aykroyd-Damon Wayans movie Celtic Pride.
C. One of Russell's own championship rings.
D. Yankees Stadium box seats tickets.
E. A strawberry smoothie. UNHAND ME, YANKEE
NO SMOOTH MOVES
THE RING'S THE THING
2. What corporate entity publicly apologized for insulting LeBron James by offering the city of Cleveland a promotional giveaway?
A. Dunkin Donuts sold boxes of a dozen donuts for 23 cents after a New England store manager bet his workers LeBron wouldn't be able to throw down a monster dunk to end Game 4 against the Celtics.
B. Sherman Williams donated 23-gallon cans of paint to orphanages after the CEO posted on his blog that LeBron was being a wuss in the paint.
C. Papa John's pizza sold 23-cent one-topping pizzas for sponsoring a "Crybaby" T-shirt for Wizards fans.
D. Sprite gave away 23-ounce bottles of its original flavor soda after a "Tastes Like LeBron's Sweat!" version of Diet Sprite flopped.
E. The Lids hat store in the mall gave away Indians caps after a test run of LeBron-Yankees caps flopped.
DON'T SWEAT IT
DON'T LOSE YOUR HAT
YOU WANT PEPPERONI?
3. What part of Kobe Bryant's anatomy is causing him difficulty through the playoffs?
A. There's a chronic pain in his neck, due to the weight of his massive ego.
B. His back is having spasms.
C. His big toe hurts (and a Lakers team without a leader is like a foot without a big toe).
D. His heart grew three sizes that day.
E. His ring finger feels itchy.
NO FINGER ROLL
TOE HASN'T EARNED ITS STRIPES
LOOK WHO'S BACK ON A TITLE RUN
4. What went wrong after a stunt by New Orleans Hornet mascot Super Hugo that caused a 20-minute delay in their Game 1 against San Antonio?
A. Bill Walton had to be restrained from using pneumatic air rifle to shoot tie-dyed T-shirts into the crowd.
B. Super Hugo tried to put $100 down on a Florida Marlins-Tampa Bay Rays World Series.
C. Shaquille O'Neal tried to explain why he should be allowed to flee the Phoenix fiasco and return to Louisiana as LSU's basketball coach.
D. Crews had to clean up fire extinguisher residue after snuffing out flaming ring that Super Hugo dunked through.
E. Crews had to clean up thousands of dollars of cash that had slipped out of O.J. Mayo's pockets.
DON'T BET ON IT
NO JUICE MONEY
FLAME OFF!
5. What will be the biggest surprise for Mike D'Antoni as he takes over the Knicks?
A. Win more than 30 games, and he'll get better seats at restaurants that Carlos Delgado does.
B. Once a month, he is required to provide complimentary foot rubs for celebrity ticket holders, such as Woody Allen and Spike Lee.
C. If he gets fired, he is automatically Larry Brown's coach-in-waiting for the Charlotte Bobcats.
D. New York City winters are somewhat colder than Phoenix's.
E. Hank Steinbrenner is allowed to scream at him.
CAN'T PUT HIS FOOT DOWN
NO "WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU?" CLICHES
HANK IS STANK
6. Orlando Magic big man Dwight Howard tried to market himself as Superman. What turned out to be his Kryptonite against Detroit?
A. He already has a season pass to Disney World, so he didn't need motivation of a free trip for winning the NBA title.
B. The Palace of Auburn Hills is made from actual debris from the doomed planet Krypton.
C. Stan Van Gundy's is Bizarro World version of Pat Riley.
D. Was forced to explain ways in which The Bill Engvall Show is not a rip-off of Tim Allen's Home Improvement.
E. Lex Luthor is Detroit's clock operator.
DON'T PLAY WITH MICE
NO TOOL TIME
TIME STANDS STILL
7. What lesson did the overachieving Atlanta Hawks teach the NBA during their first-round series?
A. Always try to arrange to play host to a Doc Rivers-coached team.
B. Downtown traffic gridlock can't stop all band wagons from entering Philips Arena.
C. Winning 40 games during the regular season is for suckers.
D. That the team still exists.
E. In wake of Michael Vick scandal, town will embrace any new dog and pony show.
SETTLE DOWN, DOG
DON'T WORRY ABOUT SLOW 40 TIME
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DOC'S HOUSE CALLS
8. What is the reaction of the Detroit Pistons of reaching the Eastern Conference finals for the sixth year in a row?
A. Business as usual.
B. Under six times as much pressure to win second crown of the run.
C. I hope I don't have to make a split if I land like Chauncey Billups did.
D. Flip Saunders again proving he's no Larry Brown.
E. What's the score in the Red Wings' game?
NO WING AND A PRAYER
NO REASON TO FLIP OUT
PISTONS ARE IN BUSINESS CLASS
|
|
| A career-long sex symbol, Sam Cassell is seen here posing for the cover of GQ. (Getty Images) |
A. 28.
B. 38.
C. 48.
D. Fifty-four forty or fight.
E. In Earth years or on his home planet?
DON'T POUR OUT THE 40S
NO 20-20 VISION
THIRTY-SOMETHING VIBE IS NOT ALIEN
10. Who is least likely to be in Charles Barkley's Fave Five?
A. Dwyane Wade.
B. Michael Jordan's bookie.
C. Don Cherry's tailor.
D. Mr. and Mrs. Henry Hager.
E. Impressionist Frank Caliendo's nutritionist.
NOT A ROOKIE WITH BOOKIES
NO CHERRY POPPING
ALL FRANKS ARE FULL OF CRAP
